Menopausal Beginnings

 I've been writing a blog on and off since about 2010.  Thirteen-years of my insane rambling online.  I've covered everything from politics, health and welfare, snowflakes, mental health, book reports.  

This is an attempt to start a new style of blog for me.  One where I share my thoughts or experiences and hope that somewhere along the line people might read it and it might help them, or it might make them think about something differently.  Therefore, comments are welcome.

The first blog is thus - Menopausal Beginnings.

Unless a woman has gone into very early menopause then it's not something typically thought about while living the rest of your life, When you're in your twenties and thirties there's too much else going on.  You're getting into your career, or getting into a long-term and serious relationship.  There's kids and weddings and nights out and holidays and all sorts of things going on that typically women only think about the menopause if they happen to read an article about it or someone else that they know is going through it.

I'm in my mid-forties and I have to admit, it had been creeping into my thoughts in the last year or so.  I used to work with a woman who was going through the menopause when I was in my late-twenties and early-thirties and I remember her being in the middle of saying something and then she'd suddenly become distracted and say she was having a hot flush.  She'd need to sit and waft at her face with a magazine or something like that.  I felt sorry for her, of course.  However, a little part of me didn't believe what was going on.  What was this thing that suddenly came over her? Her face would flush and her concentration was gone, though only briefly.  A few moments later and she was literally 'back in the room'.

A decade and a half later and I'm preparing for it.  My last period was mid-February.  The night sweats are unbearable.  My anxiety is through the roof some days and for no apparent reason.  I feel worried though cannot pinpoint what is worrying me.  Weirdly, the feeling anxious and worried isn't particularly bothering me.

Of course, I consulted Dr Google about the night sweats.  Cancer.  Night sweats are a sign of some cancers, says Dr Google.  Thankfully, as the weeks rolled on and my period stopped and the anxiety heightened I decided Dr Google was mostly likely wrong and began to look at things like the NHS website and, because I had recently read an article which said my age is the sort of age the peri-menopause starts knocking, I narrowed my search scope down to 'the menopause'.  A quick read of the information on the NHS symptoms page and I ticked nearly all the boxes.

I'll pause here to say that I don't have any children.  I have never, apart from a brief spell in my twenties, particularly wanted children.  Though I've never particularly not wanted them either.  It was always something that I felt would happen if it was going to happen.  I'm not maternal really.  Yet, when the idea that I may be about to enter the menopausal years hit me I felt a tinge of sadness.  There was a moment when my own mortality hit me as well.  Here's me entering what I consider the second phase or my life, new career (this will be covered in another blog) with new hopes for the future with a good relationship on the go.  No longer is mid-forties seen as later life, it's the years of new beginnings for many, many people.  The biological clock still ticks though.  At some point in the next few years I won't be able to have children even if I want them.

That aside though it's time to deal in the here and now.  I made an appointment with my GP.  A man. Dr J. The receptionist said I could have a female doctor if I wanted one because of the nature of the appointment but I said no, he would be fine.  He was.  When I explained why I was there to see him he nodded and we went through it all with no discomfort on either side.  The whole appointment was chilled and not rushed.  I've got another couple of appointments to go to now, one at the hospital and one with the nurse at the surgery to rule out anything else, but the general agreement between us is that yes, I'm peri-menopausal. 

Symptoms of menopause by Mikael Häggström .

I see this is part of the journey I am on in my life just now.  Another part of it.  I've grown a lot in my life and if was how I was before I would have stuck my head in the sand at this stage.  Now I'm more pro-active.  I read about what I can do to help myself.  

• Eat better.  I don't eat badly but I have looked more into what I need to eat to help.  The NHS website recommends things like calcium enriched produce to help with bones.  In general just making sure there are fruit and veg in the diet is usually a winner.  A varied diet full of proteins and vitamins and certain fats.
• Sleeping. Before I had even thought about the menopause I changed my sleeping habits.  Rather than sitting up until I could barely function I now go to bed when my body tells me.  If I'm flagging at seven at night then I go to bed then.  I will usually fall asleep quickly into a comfortable and deep sleep.  I can wake up about midnight or one am.  I feel relaxed and rested.  I now keep a kettle in my bedroom so that I don't have to wander.  I'll make a cup of a relaxing tea like camomile, drink it and drift off to sleep for another few hours usually waking about six AM feeling pretty good.  No phones, no laptops, no tablets.  Though I do sometimes put my TV on.
• Exercise.  For a little while now I have had really bad problems with aching muscles and joints.  I had thought I was seizing up like a hinge that needs some WD40.  It is a symptom of the menopause though and it is recommended that more exercise is taken.  I'm not a runner.  I do like walking so I'm planning to start this on a more regular basis.  Where I live has a nice round-trip walk that's about two miles so my aim is to get this going a couple of days a week and building up to at least five days a week and then also vary the route.  Exercise helps improve the muscles and strength but helps with weight loss which is another recommendation if, like me, you are over weight entering this stage of life.
• Medication.  I would never recommend anyone taking medications without consulting their GP.  There are, of course, medications the GP can prescribe during menopause.  There are also alternative medications.  I take nothing from either so far so if anyone reading this is unsure then do at least talk with a pharmacist.

That is where I am in my life at the moment.  I'm ready for it simply because I can't hide from it.  It's one of these things that women go through that happens to us all and that is inevitable.  We can't hide from it yet it is still rarely talked about, it's still taboo.  You'll rarely hear about it outside women's magazines and women still hide it at work and even sometimes from other women because they might be younger or out of sheer embarrassment.  

   

Women need to talk about it because we all go through it.  There is nothing wrong with it and no-one is less of a woman because they went through it.